Want

I want you. But I don't think you want me.
I always seem to be in this position. Wanting something we cannot have.
It is the never ending game I play in my life.
Many of us want things we ultimately cannot have. Like keeping up with the Jone's theory. It can be a rather vicious cycle, or a goal aiming successful idea.
I don't exactly know how it feels to get what i want, when I want it.
This isn't about an expensive pair of shoes that I have to have and will only wear once. This is so much more. I cannot exactly describe it to you. So interpret how you may.

At 1st I didn't want you. I passed you by like you were just another of the same ol'. Then one day, I saw you in a different light. My mind from then wouldn't let you go. I dream about you. I stalk you daily. I think about what my life would be with you in it.
You have no idea.
You cannot even comprehend how badly I want you. I don't understand why I want you so much. I don't know every detail about you. Just the few things that I do know, seem important enough to just fall away and never go back to anything else .
I learn bits and pieces more and more lately, and its like a door opened and it has been exactly what Ive wanted for the past 8 years of my life.

I know you have no idea. I didn't expect this to happen. Like I said, when I 1st got word of who you were, I said no.

To have you all the time, seems like happiness.
This is an unexpected twist.

I swore on everything I own, that I wouldn't do this.
But I cannot resist.
I am sure part of me is just fantasizing about unrealistic hopes and wants.
I feel though, that part of me has a complete understanding that as soon as I get you, I will never let you go.
That scares me.

P.s. None of you will ever guess what I am referring too